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Pilgrimage to Self
Page 19

by Jinendra Swami

Copyright 1999 Jinendra Swami.

Jinendra Swami welcomes all queries from genuine seekers. His email address is jinendra@yahoo.com. His website is here.

 

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Awareness: My Inner Guru


Would you like to take pilgrimage to Self ? 
If yes
Then just walk with me as 'I '
  holding the hands of my guru -- the Awareness  
  as we journey through the three worlds  
  waking world, dream world and sleep world

I go to sleep each night and dream
The process of dream reveals my waking reality 
In dream I am aware
* Things just happen
* I do nothing consciously
* I do experience enjoyment and suffering                 
      through my acts, emotions, and feelings

On awakening I am aware  
I experience freedom from all my acts,
   emotions and feelings in dream
I see the 'aimlessness' of everything                                   
  that happens in my dream
All my dream experiences                                         
  ceases to have any value to me
In dream, I may be a millionaire  or a pauper   
  and experience accidents, or may even die at times   
But on awakening I Realize
I am unharmed, and find myself the same 
'That' which is aware in dream  
     is also the same 'that' is aware in waking   
I am 'that' which is  'Witnessing'
      all that happens in waking or dream
As we journey further
Let's see why the 'Witnesser' in sleep 
  has no significance for 'everything in waking life'? 
I observe that the 'person' or the 'ego'
  cease to exist (not present) in sleep 
Is it not the silence of the 'ego'
  that lets the 'Witnesser' take charge once more -? 
May be that's why sleep is so blissful
  that I don't mind loosing my Identity of  'person'

Let's journey further 
As I awake 
The 'ego' once again takes charge
The 'person' with name, form, and its memory of joys             
  and sorrows makes me play silly games of life
But at night , merely by closing my eyes
I bring an end to this temporary 'person'

With clarity I See, that for the 'Witnesser' 
My existence in dream state   
  has no significance in waking state
My existence in waking state
  has no significance in sleep state
This 'Witnesser' remains
Free and unaffected in all three worlds
  the waking world, dream world, and sleep world

In this journey I reach a point
When there is nothing to witness
Then the 'Witnesser' too dissolves   
There is just this Self -- The Silence
This Silence is Pure Awareness -- the Atman

Now I live in 'Waking Meditation'
There is no difference in solitude or active life
In this state of Let-Go, the 'doer' itself is Silent
So Who is there to decide?
Now the 'Witnesser' is unaffected by any action
  be it working, eating, sleeping, or doing nothing

Now I know 
  --  I experience my body because of ego (mind) 
  --  My mind is in my consciousness
  --  The ever changing consciousness
       is in the ever present Awareness
Awareness 
   in relationship with the World is  the  'Witnesser'
Awareness  when there is nothing to witness
   is the constant, unchangeable, ever present 'Self '

Is this the end of my pilgrimage to Self ? 

My journey has not ended but just begun
Trust your own 'Guru' and journey to your Self  

'O sleeping man'
Awaken from your 'awakened sleep' 
  to discover your Reality -- the Truth!! 

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2000 Realization.org.