STARTING IN LATE AUGUST,
I began sitting with Lawrence and Ardeliza for their usual Friday
night meditation and satsang. I was astounded by the transmission
there, even though the first night I went there were only four of
us in total, and the other guy, I learned later, was Lawrence's
brother Randall. But I figured that two realizers were better than
one -- more is better, right? In the ensuing weeks, more people
came, many of whom I was surprised to find to be fellow 7 Keyers.
Though my impulse to community of any cultic form was truly burned
out by my involvement in the Free Daist Communion, I felt that the
camaraderie with the people who became regulars were people to whom
I could very much relate and with whom I seemed to share a common
level of insight. In other words, we were tuned into a very incredible
wavelength from the transmission we felt.
Later in September I
began sitting with Saniel, and I found it remarkable how much he
had changed. He had seemed like a disturbed character to me while
in FDC (disturbance that most of us shared there because of the
cultic mentality and the insane rantings of Love-Ananda), but now
he seemed to be free of that particular disturbance and seemed much
stronger to me. In the first meeting, we spoke about the fire of
self-damnation that occurs with leaving Love-Ananda, a psychic gauntlet
that all former devotees must run through and get out of their systems.
What was particularly
brilliant and "leading edge" about Saniel, Lawrence, and Ardeliza
was their teaching of the embrace of all phenomena, both "internal"
and "external." Nothing was profane or judged. Even though
this was similar to the teaching of Love-Ananda, it certainly wasn't
practiced in his community. Moreover, in most traditions and schools
which I have read, certain behaviors, trains of thought, ideas,
and philosophies were grossly or subtly preferred and rewarded over
others, always creating "shadows" within those schools. My own feelings
of the brilliance and superiority of this process of "accept and
embrace" was reflected in what these three musketeers were talking;
even the "demon" of reaction towards events was embraced. It felt
to me that this was Tantra at its essence, and in effect a place
where one could completely rest, as everything and every part and
aspect of oneself was simply allowed to arise and fall from and
into Being. It seemed to me that this was an advanced and "rapid"
path towards awakening and not one that everyone would be ready
for -- but for me it was perfect timing.
I began to sit regularly
with Saniel on Sundays in addition to the Friday evenings with Lawrence
and Ardeliza. They seemed to be brothers (and sister) in an incredible
transmission; one week Saniel seemed more profound, other times
Lawrence and Ardeliza. In the beginning the transmission directly
struck me on the right side of the heart with such intensity that
I felt that I would crack. The heat of this wonderful process, almost
purely initiated with satsang, brought to me many wonderful insights
that were undeniable, too numerous to name here. The first few times
that I sat in satsang, I would lie in bed trying to sleep that night
with my body suffused in light and shakti energy. It was remarkable
how powerful the transmission was for me from all three of them.
I began a career of shakti-insomnia that often plagues me to this
On November 11th, Anne
began to sit with Lawrence and Ardeliza, which was such a wonderful
thing for me, and the beginning of a big healing process for her.
It is such a relief to have a spouse in synch with you regarding
what is really important in life (in fact it seems crucial for a
relationship to survive). I felt really close to Lawrence, and feelings
of devotion and caring arose for both of them. What was also wonderful
was that they were practically around the block from us, and in
fact, we can see their house from our vantage point on the hill
where we live. As I began sitting regularly with Lawrence and Ardeliza
on Fridays, their transmissions would take turns pulverizing me
in their intensities. Time after time, I was amazed by how such
ordinary-looking folks could be such a potent point of spiritual
transmission. I envisioned a realizer in every neighborhood in the
world, working in small groups. So far, Greenbrae and Santa Venetia
of Marin county are covered!!