Kundalini Breaks the Last Block
activity made the author happy and healthy for over
a year -- until the night it broke through the last
block and entered his head, causing a devastating neurological
OVER A YEAR before the terrible event I was happy and
content. For physical health, I was doing regular yoga
postures and relaxation. I also did Ba Gua exercises
and meditation. This helped me gain a tremendous sense
of vitality and high energy. Sleep was deep and invigorating.
I had a large appetite and great digestion; food was
organic and vegetarian. I also had great concentration
and memory. I had a strong awareness of people, the
universe, and myself. I was also very aware of my emotions;
I felt sensitive and sensual. My mind and body were
working extremely well. I was doing really well at university.
No doubt, I was having a great time; I was conquering
believe my great health was partly due to Kundalini
activity that occurred once or twice a week in the middle
of the night. Typically a feeling of warmth and movement
at the base of my spine would wake me from sleep. After
a few split seconds it would erupt as a strong ball
of electrical energy and then speed quickly along nerves
in a manner that could be directed by thought. At the
same time I would lose perception of space and time,
and enter a distorted sense of reality with extremely
loud rushing noises. As this occurred, I would become
paralyzed, unable to move a muscle. I would feel the
Kundalini energy encounter and push hard against what
I would call resistance or blocks or knots in the nerve
it was travelling along. This would often cause strong
or extreme pain. If I concentrated on the block that
was being "burnt" the pain would intensify. The only
way to exit this state and make the energy return to
its dormant condition was to move some muscle -- any
muscle -- in my body. This was very difficult as I would
have to gather up and use all possible will power. When
I managed to do this, the energy would rapidly return
to its home. After this, I wouldn't be able to feel
any part of my body, so I would twiddle my toes to regain
awareness of it. I suppose the nerves had to re-establish
their connections. After this happened, I could fall
back asleep as if nothing had happened, and the energy
would not erupt again that night.
did much reading and spoke to a few people on the subject
and came to the conclusion that what was happening to
me was just one of the body's natural ways of eliminating
blocks in the nervous system. This was confirmed by
the fact that my overall health was improving and I
was achieving a great nerve sensitivity and awareness
of my body. I also came to understand that Kundalini
is just one element for personal growth and that cultivation
of virtues is also important.
two things worried me. Firstly, on several occasions,
the energy seemed to enter the spinal channel and extend
vertically instead of moving in a compact ball as it
usually did in the nighttime experiences. To use serpent
imagery, it was like a snake stretching out and standing
up instead of a snake that moves while remaining coiled.
This would lead to a completely different experience
characterized by chakric expansion and mystical awareness,
usually accompanied by bliss depending on the position
reached by the top of the snake's head. On these occasions
I experienced heart orgasms generating compassion, prologed
genital orgasms without ejaculation, brain orgasms causing
intuition of spiritual laws, and sensations of the body
becoming gigantic whilst the point of consciousness
if not all of the literature I encountered referred
to Kundalini activity occurring in this way and so did
my Yoga teacher. However, what seemed to be happening
to me in the nighttime experiences was that the energy
would try to enter the spinal channel but be blocked
because the channel was closed. Instead it would force
itself out through a different nerve or channel. I couldn't
find any information on this type of occurrence, but
I did discover in Feuerstein's acclaimed book Tantra
that when the energy took the form of a snake standing
on its tail in the central channel, it would be harmless.
other worry was that after a period of months, the energy
seemed to have dissolved most blocks in my body. This
meant that when it awakened it would usually rush straight
to my head unimpeded. When it did this, it would reach
a block or knot in the middle of my head that seemed
to be protecting the brain from the energy. It felt
as though the ball of energy was pushing against this
block very forcefully, and this was extremely painful.
I finally decided that this was potentially dangerous
because the energy might enter the brain and cause some
kind of brain injury. However I wasn't too sure; maybe
the energy was meant to "burn" through this block like
the rest of the blocks in the body. One time when the
pain became unbearable, it suddenly dissipated in the
strange form of an orgasmic wave of pleasure starting
from feet to head.
didn't know what to do. There was not much I could do.
It's not as if I was playing with Kundalini. It would
just awaken naturally in my sleep. I did realise that
I could stop the awakening altogether if I rapidly and
deliberately moved my body in the split second after
the Kundalini woke up just before it erupted. This would
stifle the energy but was difficult to do as I would
be just waking up and be in a slow-reacting, lethargic
state. I also realised that the more power the Kundalini
had, the more speed it had, the more easily it woke
me up, and the more pain it caused when it reached my
head or any other block. This seemed to be regulated
by the amount of semen in my body, for when there was
a lot of it the energy would stir frequently in the
sacrum throughout the day and usually erupt at night.
If I masturbated, then there would be no fuel for the
Kundalini and it would stir less and erupt at night
only after one or two days when the semen had built
up again. However, I didn't want to emit semen all the
time because it drained me mentally and physically.
was I supposed to do? Was I in danger? Did I need to
masturbate to stop the energy from erupting or from
having too much power? If so, how should I determine
when the Kundalini had too much power? My attempts to
answer these questions were fruitless, and, just as
I got to the stage where answering these questions became
really, really important to me, something terrible happened.
Something Terrible Happens
May 5, 1999 the energy woke me up. I did nothing to
stop it and with a great amount of energy and power
it rocketed straight up to the brain where it broke
the block in the middle of my head. I felt it explode
in the frontal lobe and I lost consciousness for a split
second. Then it went to another part of the body and
came back to the brain exploding there two more times.
As it sped around my body, I somehow managed to move
a muscle and break the paralysis so the energy returned
to the base of the spine. As usual, I couldn't feel
any part of my body but this time the lack of sensation
felt much more serious, as if my whole body had disappeared.
I twiddled my toes and regained awareness of my body,
but it felt strange and different, a little numbed,
as if the signals weren't coming in as strongly as usual.
I felt as though the whole central part of my chest
and torso had lost a lot of their presence, particularly
the sensations coming from within my body -- the stomach
and intestines. My penis became limp and dead. I noticed
that both my nostrils were wide open and extremely dilated.
Not only did my body feel different, but as I stood
up and looked at the world around me, external things
seemed different, strange, unreal, foreign, weird, and
dreamlike. This was a big shock to me. I became frantic
and had a panic attack.
in a frantic state, I had breakfast and went to university.
In the lecture I couldn't concentrate. My thoughts were
racing, the world was strange and disturbing. I tried
a Yoga class but that was hopeless. I tried talking
to a few people but I couldn't think properly and could
only articulate simple phrases. I bought some lunch
even though I had no appetite. I couldn't finish it
because my stomach gave no feedback on how full or hungry
it was. That night I got only three hours sleep with
nightmares and because my nose was so dilated, I had
a couple of bloody noses. The next day, still in a frantic
state, I saw a doctor who sent me to a youth psychiatric
hospital for assessment. There I realised that I couldn't
cry because I wasn't producing any tears. I also realised
that my whole body had lost its responsiveness to sensitive
touch; even my feet and armpits weren't ticklish anymore.
Also, I tried to do some running but got hit with sudden
tiredness; all my stamina was gone because my metabolism
had been affected. I realized that food was taking longer
to move through my intestines because bowel movements
were less powerful and of lower volume. Food started
building up in the intestines because I was eating more
than excreting. After about one or two months my abdomen
reached its current level of distension. Associated
with this was frequent smelly wind. Indeed I had slow
transit constipation. After three weeks I was prescribed
an anti-psychotic medication, Risperidone. I stayed
on this medication for 10 months which stabilised me
were many more symptoms. I will list all of them and
their status as of Friday, 28 April 2000.
following symptoms still exist:
of skin's responsiveness to sensitive touch, a slight
The body feels dull and sluggish.
Tai Chi, and dancing have lost their appeal.
ticklishness in feet, and little in armpits.
to develop dark patches under the eyes.
not smooth anymore; tendency to develop small bumps
of even skin tone on face and body.
to feel hungry or full; lack of appetite.
to feel thirst.
transit constipation with major bloating and frequent
fat even though I'm eating much less.
and derealisation. The environment constantly seems
unreal and spaced-out; it feels like being stuck in
of time feels awkward. No sense of moving forward
or accomplishment, even after sleeping. No sense that
a new day has arrived when I wake up.
Inability to feel tiredness, fatigue, or differing
energy levels. Just a constant flat dull feeling,
even when walking, yawning, waking up, or going to
body acts like a robot separated from the mind.
yawning, even after sleep.
are less intense.
throbbing pains on soles of feet and palms.
and restlessness in hands (dyskinetic movements caused
the following symptoms have improved or gone away:
thinking, tracking words while reading, concentrating.
Difficulty thinking of jokes and being humorous.
dilation of both nostrils.
to perform cardiovascular exercise.
of detachment from mouth and voice.
of power to most major muscles. (Restored with chiropractic.)
feeling that all actions were difficult and required
diminished bodily sweat, even under armpits..
- Lack of tears.
of moisture and mucus in nose.
- Lack of semen production.
anyone would imagine, my life has dramatically changed
since the terrible event. I don't socialise anymore
because it's not as rewarding and it's more difficult.
I've lost all enthusiasm, momentum, and vision in my
life. Exercise is difficult and less enjoyable. I'm
only studying one subject but even that is less enjoyable
and is still a struggle. Unless my mind and body heals,
I doubt I'll ever do and be the things I wanted from
my professional, personal, social, economic, physical,
and spiritual life. This is a major blow since I was
ambitious and a high achiever. I'm not depressed, although
it can be a little upsetting that things aren't happening
the way I would have liked them to be. However, I somewhat
accept my new reality.
Kundalini still erupts occasionally, but it doesn't
have as much power now as it did before and is therefore
unable to enter my brain again.
Copyright 2000 by A.D.
author invites readers to send him email with comments,
advice, questions, or suggestions. His address is firstname.lastname@example.org.
Reference Page on Kundalini
bibliography, brief reviews of selected books and articles,
page was published on May 5, 2000 and last revised on
May 10, 2000.